Follow the rules
by Jesus JD DeJesus
Summary: Wondered if you take the walking dead characters and Zombieland universe together? Well than read this story the first chapter is just the beginning, in the next chapters we will see if these survivors can either team up or go their own ways down the road to survival. Zombieland (2009) The Walking Dead (2010) Rated M For Language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

Walking Dead enters Zombieland

Follow the Rules

By Jesus Dejesus

Chapter 1

Towns are a wasteland, tragedy is everywhere, all hope is lost. There is a black figure approaching dead or alive they fear both.

Columbus Ohio enters a gas station, hopefully finding gasoline, uses the bathroom but finds a unwanted guest: a walker, he screams as he runs to his car unlocking the door leaving.

 **Columbus** : The first lesson on surviving zombieland: Cardio, when the virus struck for obvious reasons the first ones to go were the fatties, poor bastard, as the virus spread and the chaos grew, there's a reason why you should have a gun on you which leads me to my next rule: The double tap, if your not quite sure that the undead are really dead, don't get stingy with your bullets, maybe one more clean shot to the head

[Lady gets eaten alive by walkers, screams in pain]

 **Columbus** : It was not long until the zombies got clever somehow they can just smell your fear, don't let them catch you with your pants down which leads me to my next rule: Beware of bathrooms. It was not long until the virus hits children, and you soon realize that your bundle of joys are now sick little monsters it was time to stop driving car pool, which ultimately leads me to my next rule, pretty basic: Seatbelts, fastened your seatbelts it's going to be a bumpy ride. After what happened at that gas station is should take the rules seriously, on the bright side i found a place to go number two.

[Bell Gongs]

 **Columbus** : Another rule of surviving zombieland: Travel light and i don't mean just luggage, i always been kind of a loner, i avoided other people like they were zombies even when they are zombies, now that they are all zombies i kind of miss people, so i heading from my college dorm in houston texas to columbus ohio, where i expected to see a familiar face or any face that does not has blood on their lips or flesh between its teeth.

[Hears a car approaching, Hides behind a motorbike, Stranger with cowboy hat steps out and pulls his gun, so does columbus, columbus holds his thumb out and the stranger offers him the ride]

 **Columbus** : Thank you [Checks the back seat]

 **Stranger** : What are you looking for?

 **Columbus** : Nothing i just have this list.

 **Stranger** : No one back there but my duffel bag.

 **Columbus** : So what's your name?

 **Stranger** : Stop, no names [Drinks whiskey] Hmm?

 **Columbus** : No thanks i only drink once.

 **Stranger** : Where you heading?

 **Columbus** : Columbus Ohio you?

 **Stranger** : Tallahassee.

 **Columbus** : You know Tallahassee and Columbus are both east.

 **Tallahassee** : So?

 **Columbus** : So Tallahassee you want to stick together at least for a while?

 **Tallahassee** : Here's the deal Columbus i'm not a fan of teamwork and i sensing your bit of a bitch so i'll take this relationship as far as arkansas.

 **Columbus** : Sure! Sure you can take me as far as Arkansas, might wanna buckle up you know for safety.

 **Tallahassee** : I can tell already you are gonna get on my nerves.

 **Columbus** : [Thinking] Even though teamwork was not my style i figure i be safe with tallahassee, see he was in the butt kicking business.

*Flashback*

 **Tallahassee** : Business is good.

*Flashback over*

 **Columbus** : This is going to be a rocky start.


	2. Chapter 2

2

Columbus: Although he look tough he does have a weakness, [stops on the side of the road] what are we doing here?

Tallahassee: Take a look it's a goddamn hostess truck.

Columbus: Yeah so?

Tallahassee: I could use a twinkie, You coming?

Columbus: Yeah one second. [Does Squats]

Tallahassee: You trippin me?

Columbus: No i we should limber up, since we're going down that hill.

Tallahassee: I don't get have you ever seen a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle? [Heads down the hill, hears noises in the truck]

?: WHO'S THERE?

[Opens Door]

?:Who are you two?

Tallahassee: Finding twinkie's and you trying to score some.

?: First of all, i was scavenging for our group, and daryl was suppose took secure the area, of walkers.

Columbus: We were just looking for a twinkie, then we are just going back on the road.

?: Sorry all we could find in here was snoballs.

Tallahassee: Godammit, where's the freakin Twinkie's.

Columbus: I like snoballs.

Tallahassee: I hate coconut not the taste consistence me, but this twinkie thing it ain't over.

Columbus: Oh hey i got take the browns to the superbowl, and maybe we should help these guys.

Tallahassee: Really? Fine.

Columbus: So what's your names?

?: I'm Glenn Rhee, and that's Daryl. [Enters the car and stops at the rest stop, Tallahassee practice his swings with his knife]

Columbus; [Thinking] I know teaming up was not my style, people is not the only thing i was scared of today, there was something more than i was afraid yes more than zombies: Freaking Klowns. I wish i was back in my dorm, Eating pizza, third week indoors, world of warcraft.

*Flashback*

Knocking on door

406: Please help me! Please! [Opens door] Thank you, Thank you!

Columbus: Here you go [offers sprite]

406: Thanks, i'm going to take a short nap.

[Later]

Columbus: Whoa are you alright?

[406 turned into a walker]

Columbus; Please 406, if your listening you are just really sick.

[406 attacks, Columbus kills her]

*Flashback Ends* [Arrives at store]

Columbus: Jesus Christ you are a dangerous man, you seriously going to risk our lives for a twinkie?

Tallahassee: There's is a last box of twinkies that anyone would enjoy in the whole UNIVERSE.

Glenn: I'm down with it and a man who enjoys his snacks.

Daryl: Lets do it.


	3. Chapter 3

3

[Enters Store Tallahassee plays banjo, Walker attacks]

Tallahassee: You got a _pretty_ Mouth? [Kills walker with banjo}

[Another walker attacks, Columbus leads it to Tallahassee]

Columbus: Don't swing Don't Swing! SWING!

Tallahassee: [Kills it with a bat, Daryl finishes him with a crossbow]

Columbus: Thanks.

Tallahassee: You owe me.

[Encounters a fat walker, blade ends up in the back of its skull, kills him, someone behind it.]

JD: Who are you four?

Daryl: We should be asking You that?

JD: My name is Jesus, but my friends call me JD, me and my bro was just searching for the last pepsi and takis.

KIKO: Yeah and then we heard biters getting killed in the store, we were just scavenging for food and try to find our familia.

Glenn: I don't know if they are still alive.

JD: Hey you can't lose hope and faith, everyone else did and look what happened.

Columbus: Man look at these guys there so fat and dead, we should keep looking around.

[Woman appears]

Woman: Come quick.

[We followed, columbus waits]

Tallahassee: You coming?

Columbus: Yeah hold on, [To viewers, Another rule: When in doubt know your way out]

[Arrives in the back]

Tallahassee: Little one been bit. There Sisters, names wichita and little rock

KIKO: I'm Sorry.

[Everyone huddled discussing how to put her down, We agree to let her sister do it]

Tallahassee: You need some help?

Wichita: Now that you mentioned it [Points gun to US] We'll take your weapons, your car, your ammunition.

Little rock: And if you got it sugarless gum [Points gun at KIKO]

Tallahassee: What the hell?

Columbus: Wait why are you doing this?

Wichita: Well you made a mistake of trusting us than us trusting all of you. [Heads out and take car]

Tallahassee: Nice one genius.

KIKO: Your the one who gave her the gun.

Wichita: Yet another day on the road.

Little rock: I could use a shower.

Wichita: So could i, remember the plan keep moving all the way to pacific playland.

[We are walking in a town]

Columbus: So the walker's head is decapitated and is used as part of a bike.

Tallahassee: Nice but Zombie kill of the week? No sir.

Daryl: Maybe hit one with a RPG and the head flies through the air for the final blow.

JD: That's one of the classics, not a new kill.

Tallahassee: If i know one thing you do not mess with a man's lamborghini.

Columbus: There's a nice van.

Tallahassee: Oh yeah that's a very nice van [Smashes a window]

JD: If i know one thing you should blow off some steam

Glenn: Yeah before you lose your mind.

Tallahassee: I WANT MY LAMBO BACK! YOU BITCHES!

[Continues on the road after blowing off steam, Sees a new Hummer, Finds weapons in the back]

Tallahassee: Thank god for rednecks, this is a really big truck filled with really big guns.

Columbus: Take your time.

Tallahassee: [Practices shooting guns with Daryl, Pants a 3 on the car]

JD: On the Road again.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Columbus: You know the bible says 'He who seeks revenge, remembers to dig up two holes".

Tallahassee: Right on for the big chick and one for the little one.

Daryl: Or possibly one of us.

KIKO: They won't kill us, i mean they do need help possibly.

[Finds a abandoned car on the road]

Glenn: Stop the car, we will take this car to get back to our group.

JD: Alright stay safe and take care.

[They take the car and leave while we continue down the road]

Tallahassee: You know there are things i want do after this is over, first going skinny dipping in a lake, swinging on a chandelier, and lord willing a GD twinkie gotta enjoy the little things.

Columbus: [Thinking, i hate to give credit to someone who looks like yosemite sam but why not another rule enjoy the little things.]

[Finds their stolen car on the side of the road]

Tallahassee: Could be a trap.

JD: There was no trap on the last car we found abandoned.

Columbus: That's because there is no one there.

Tallahassee: I'm going in.

JD: I'll go with you just in case.

[We check the car no one was there, sent the signal to move in]

JD: Engine died, no one was there, let's keep moving.

[Freezes in silence]

Tallahassee: They are in the back are they?

Little rock: Just me.

Columbus: Sorry she like a crouching tiger.

KIKO: We just got taken hostage by a 12 year old and i am only 13.

Little Rock: 12 the new 20 gun please.

Tallahassee: Like you know how to use that thing.

Little Rock: [Shoots gun in the air]

JD: Don't kill me with my own gun! Please!

[We Hands our guns to her, commands to honk the horn, wichita come out]

Columbus: Oh there is your sister with my gun Hello.

Wichita: Bummer now step away from the car, you get to ride shotgun.

Columbus: [Thinking: I kind of like this girl, and i'm surprised they did not leave us on the side of the road.]

KIKO: So where are you guys going?

Little Rock: Ever heard of pacific playland, that's where we are going.

JD: I heard of six flags last time i saw it's a amusement park of horror.

[Nighttime]

Columbus: So ever heard of Columbus Ohio, it's the last place standing.

Wichita: Yeah, but now it's a total ghosttown, burnt to the ground. [Looks at Columbus, he is now depressed] oh that's i'm sorry.

Columbus: It's alright looks like going home went south, now what?

JD: How about Tampa, military has heavy armor protecting it and it's the last place our family went.

Tallahassee: Sure, but first we need to make a pit stop my feet are killing me.

[Stops at a shop]

KIKO: Wait, could be a trap so who wants to go first?

Columbus: [Thinking: I really want to impress Wichita but i could violating my next rule maybe the most important rule of all: Don't be a hero] how about you take this one.

Tallahassee: Don't mind if i do [Rings bell, walker attacks, he shoots it in the head] what do think zombie kill of the week?

JD: Close but nope.

[Enter and check out the store]

Columbus: [Tries perfume]

Tallahassee: What's that?

Columbus: Cologne. [looks at Wichita]

Tallahassee: [Notices] Oh my god, you think about doing wichita, hey wish granted she could spend the next 24 hours doing us both, good luck now petunia.

Columbus: [Sprays him with perfume] Sorry.

Tallahassee: Hey you know i beat a wholesale ass then you can take the credit. [punches him and breaks vase] come on break another one.

Columbus: [Breaks vase]

Tallahassee: See? Don't that feel good. [Kicks vase]

[Everyone smashes everything in the store and everything they could get their hands on]

Columbus: [Tallahassee's right you gotta enjoy the little things]

[Enters the car]

JD: Smells like cologne.


	5. Chapter 5

5

[Continues on the road, take turns driving, Sun rises and arrives at California]

JD: We need something like a map or something and a place to stay.

Tallahassee: Oh, well i have perfect suggestion, we are in the iconic city and i know the perfect place to stay [stops near the map inventory] grab a map.

[Wichita and Columbus steps out to grab one, shoots walkers]

Tallahassee: Hurry Hurry! Good job [Drives away]

[Arrives at a mansion with the initials BM on the gate]

Columbus: That's a really big BM.

Tallahassee: It ain't Bob Marley, [Enters the mansion] Ladies and gentlemen welcome to mansion DE Murray.

Columbus: Oh Bill Murray.

JD: No way this guy starred in "Garfield".

Wichita: This guy is a direct line in my funny bone.

Little rock: Wait who's Bill Murray?

KIKO: He's like a actor and comedian.

Tallahassee: That's like asking who Gandhi is.

Little rock: Who's Gandhi?

[Tallahassee looks at Wichita]

Wichita: She's 12.

[Searches the kitchen]

Little rock: No twinkies.

Tallahassee: God damn!

Columbus: Hello inside voices, we don't know if we are the only ones here.

JD: Yeah i'll search upstairs.

Columbus: Yeah Tallahassee and Wichita search upstairs with JD, Little rock and KIKO stay with me.

[JD, Tallahassee, Wichita searches upstairs and finds the master bedroom]

Tallahassee: King Slept here.

Wichita: Dibs on the bed.

Tallahassee: Too soft for me anyway.

[Columbus, Little rock and KIKO finds a small theater]

Little Rock: He has his own movie theater?!

Columbus: Okay i'm going to take you kids to school and teach you a thing or two about bill murray.

[Tallahassee plays "Ghost busters" music]

JD: Place is alright.

Tallahassee: Help me with boots! Come on help me with boots! Ok i'll get myself [dances to ghostbusters song]

[Wichita plays golf, and hits Tallahassee with golf balls]

Tallahassee: [sees bill Murray as a fake walker] Bill Murray you're a zombie?

JD: Watch out [points gun at Murray]

Bill: Don't shoot!

JD: Oh you're alive!

Bill: The hell i am!

Wichita: Sorry we just on alert.

Bill: You got me it's a wig and makeup, you know zombies don't mess with other zombies.

Tallahassee: It is so freaking sweet to meet you, i watch every single movies of yours, and none of them in the world is compared to Bill freaking Murray.

Bill: Yeah, how about we have a drink or anything, what would you like?

[Wichita, Tallahassee, and Bill smoke pot, and JD drinking juice, meanwhile in the movie theater, Columbus, little rock and KIKO are watching ghost busters]

[Meanwhile Tallahassee, Wichita, Bill, JD enter the theater]

Wichita: He's like a little bunny.

Bill: I'll get him [puts on wig and makeup, pretends to be a walker, Columbus reacts and shoots Murray]

Tallahassee: NO!

Columbus: It's okay i got him.

Bill: [wounded] Is that how you say hello where you come from?

Columbus: Oh my god, i can't believe i just shot Bill Murray.

Tallahassee: Mr. Murray?

Bill: Just Bill, i know i wasn't always that funny.

Columbus: If it means anything i am so sorry!

Bill: It was my own fault i was never such a practical joker.

Little rock: Do you have any regrets?

Bill: "Garfield" Maybe [Breathes his last breath, everyone breaks down in silence]

[Brings his corps outside and everyone shoots in the air]

Columbus: [reloads] Sorry it's a double barrel.

Tallahassee: 1 2 3! [Puts Murray corpse in his grave]

KIKO: So anyone wants to continue "Ghost busters".

Tallahassee: I'm in. [everyone goes inside]

Next Chapter they will get a visit from a unwanted guess hope you all like it see ya later


	6. Chapter 6

6

Night time we are playing Monopoly, Rock is closer to winning.

Little Rock: 1 2 3 yes.

Wichita: Oh free parking.

Tallahassee: You know this new world is known for taking everything away from all of us, i lost things.

*Flashback*

He has a kid, he bathes him, feeds him, and plays with him

*Flashbacks ends*

Tallahassee: [Crying] i haven't cried like this since "Titanic". [wipes his tears with money]

Later on KIKO is practicing shooting.

Little Rock: Hi.

KIKO: [Keeps shooting]

Little rock decides to practice but misses a few times.

KIKO: A little tip just take a deep breath, breath in and out before shooting.

Little Rock takes the advice and achieves the practice.

Doorbell rings, JD opens it and see a unknown stranger wearing a trench jacket, and holding a baseball bat covered in barbed wires.

JD: Who are you?

?: I want you to know me and what i can do, i am offering you a chance at survival, look what's surrounding the house.

JD: Are you threatening me?

?: No i'm just offering you a chance.

JD steps outside, meanwhile inside Wichita and Columbus are drinking wine.

Wichita: You know we can always share a drink together.

Columbus: Yeah, this reminds me of middle school dance, girls choice i was the last one to be pick.

Wichita: Those Bitches!

Columbus: Yeah.

Wichita: You know what? No on behalf of the girls you are my first choice for the accepts the dance, and slowly dances with her, they nearly kiss until they hear screams.

Tallahassee: Guys, JD is outside under attack!

The group heads outside to see a army of men, they points their guns at them forcing them to get on their knees.

?: Hey i'm Negan.

They see JD on the floor bruised.

Columbus: Why are you doing this?

Negan: I want you all to know me, know me as a guy who can help you, i want you to work for me, whatever you got going for you right now well that shit is over.

Tallahassee enraged punched negan but is pulled down by saviors.

Negan: No! No no no, that doesn't flow around here.

Negan threatens Tallahassee with Lucille, Tallahassee beaten to a pulp.

Negan: Now that we have a good start, let's set some ground rules, never do that again, half of your shit belongs to me, and we will gladly show you how things will work tomorrow morning until then ta ta.

Negan and the saviors leave putting the survivors on notice. Next morning Columbus hears a car engine starting with Wichita and Little Rock leaving.

Columbus: Unbelievable first day in the mansion and we are threaten to be killed and they leave.

Wichita and Little rock proceeds to pacific play land.

Wichita: I can't believe i almost kissed him.

Little Rock: I can't believe that we are possibly going to be hunted down by that man.

Wichita: Stick to the plan sis we are going to pacific playland and not even negan will know where we are.

Little rock: What about the others.

Wichita: They are smart they will follow us.

Arrives at pacific playland

Wichita: You have survived the zombie apocalypse and travel throughout the country, where you gonna go?

Little rock: I'm going to pacific playland whoo!

Enters the park.

Next chapter is where the horror sets in not only with Negan but the herd is coming in see ya next time


	7. Chapter 7

7

Negan and the saviors approach the mansion, and notices the two girls left.

Negan: Hey i thought there were more, where are my girls?

JD: They left because of _you._

KIKO: Yeah, and we barely have anything.

Negan: We made a deal and they were involved like it or not no one runs from the saviors or me. We will bring them back here for the deal and the deal is that you all give me your shit.

Negan and saviors leaves.

JD: They must of went to pacific play land, and it is not too far from here.

Columbus: Let's hope negan does not know.

Meanwhile at the playland, Wichita and little rock search the control room and turn on the power to the amusement park, and are ready for a good time, little did they know walkers hear and see the park and the herd marches, so does the saviors.

Columbus: I am going after Wichita.

Tallahassee: Do you know how many people are with that man, besides i have a side mission of my own which is mexico.

JD: Well i don't have a lot of plans but we are going to Florida and sticking with it.

KIKO: Yeah even if it gets us killed by bullets or teeth.

Columbus: Well good luck guys and have fun in mexico.

Meanwhile in the playland the girls see the horde and run through the park and back to the car.

Wichita: Come on Hurry!

They now encounter the saviors and they are taken hostage by negan, back at the house Columbus decides to go on a motorcycle after the girls.

Tallahassee: Now i am not very good with goodbyes but that'll do pig.

Columbus: That was the worst goodbye ever and you stole it from a movie.

Tallahassee: Oh and tell the girls i'd say hey.

Columbus: You know their picture could be found in someone else's wallet.

He drives off but realizes he can't drive a motorbike. Tallahassee, JD, and KIKO offers him a ride.

Tallahassee: Come on Knievel let's go ride the roller coaster.

Columbus joins them to go to the park, they arrived and see the herd and saviors.

Columbus: This is gonna be risky.

JD: Don't worry i called Daryl and told me we have backup.

Daryl, Glenn, and new survivors come

Daryl: We got a call of saviors.

Rick: Yeah we been going to war lately and it ends now!

Next chapter is where everyone goes to war stay tuned and see ya next time.


	8. Chapter 8

8

In the last chapter the girl went to pacific playland they saw the horde and tries to escape them but encounter negan and the saviors and gets taken hostage and takes on the horde, meanwhile the men encounter daryl and glenn and turns out they have some backup.

Rick: We have been at a non stop war with the saviors and it's is coming to a bitter end tonight and the horde is our advantage.

JD: How do we even get close to negan without any saviors noticing us?

Daryl: It's like we said they will have their hands full with walkers while we attack them from behind.

KIKO: Good plan.

Tallahassee: While you guys were chatting it up i managed to get an upgrade. [Pulls out minigun]

Columbus: We have already won.

Rick: We will take groups, Glenn goes with KIKO, Daryl goes with Tallahassee, i go with Columbus and JD, everyone else surround and attack the saviors from behind.

After Rick announced the plans everyone got ready meanwhile with negan, he took the girls to the sky dropper and trapped them on the ride and set it to emergency mode leaving them stuck in the sky on the ride.

Negan: Have fun girls. [Then Leaves]

Wichita: Damn it, we lose our guns.

Little Rock: I got pocket knives KIKO give me.

Wichita: Smart.

The saviors now see the horde and open fire

Savior: Hold them back.

Behind them Rick and the group are ready.

Rick: NOW! [they open fire from behind]

Saviors are shoot down and eaten alive by walkers

Saviors: [Scream for their lives] AHHHH! NOOOO!

Columbus: We have to find Wichita and little rock.

JD: You go ahead we can keep off the horde [shoots walkers]

Rick then sees negan by the skyscraper and attacks, meanwhile Tallahassee leads half the horde to him and kills them with his minigun.

JD: Damn there are a lot of saviors and walkers.

Daryl: Use the walkers to your advantage like a shield.

Columbus now sees Wichita and little rock but also sees a walker clown.

Columbus: [Thinking] Oh my god look at this clown, of course it had to be a clown and it had to be wichita for me to finally understand that some rules are made to be broken.

Rule Don't be a hero changes to be a hero.

Columbus:[Thinking] Time to nut up or shut up

Columbus grabs a sledgehammer and kills the clown, he then knocks out negan with the hammer and saves rick, wichita, and little rock.

Rick: Thanks.

Columbus: No problem now i got get them down [sees the emergency switch and pulls it the girls come down]

Wichita hugs and kiss him

Wichita: Christa [her real name]

They then finds the others standing tall over the dead. Tallahassee celebrate by trying to find Twinkies, JD trying to find Pepsi, and KIKO trying to find takis.

Tallahassee: Where are you you spongy yellow delicious bastards where are you?!

JD: I'm gonna find you.

KIKO: Come on PLEASE!

Columbus: Yo, [then hears noises in the back and finds rats, tallahassee finds rotten twinkies]

JD: Oh no.

They hear car starting wichita and little rock leaving.

Columbus: No No.

Tallahassee: No!

They stop and and mess with them little rock gives them the very last twinkies, pepsi and takis.

JD: Yes.

Rick: We'll we gotta get back to alexandria, see ya.

KIKO: Bye and thanks.

Rick and group leaves, JD then sees negan corpse and burns him and lucille.

Columbus: [To viewers] Well that's my story to all those in zombieland good night.

Everyone now enter the car and leaves.

That's the final ending see ya next time -Jesus D


End file.
